I agree with almost everything you said here. However, sometimes "burning" things to the ground, and starting all over is necessary. It refreshes the ground for something better. We did it in 1776. We could have just kept talking calmly with the Brits for more years, and found a way back to their bosom. But we didn't, and we changed the way nations are managed, etc., and did a few other new/good things.
Incrementalism is a status quo slo mo concept. Not everything can fit into a Revolutionary or Civil war, and that is not what I am suggesting. I am pointing out how things left to fester turn out very bad. Basically, waiting for "better" to "bubble up" on a status quo timetable comfortably has costs too.
The status quo is addicted to incrementalism because it helps their controlling group stay in power. While it also reduces the "violence/flames" of quick change, ignoring the underbrush for too long can make things much hotter when sparks do occur.
The founders left slavery to their progeny, and it exploded with a future generation paying for it. The French Revolution was a tinder box left to fill up, and famine, and ignorance of the ruling party made them blind to political changes. You can get ignore it, or pay for it later. But either choice requires some flames, uncontrollable or a prescribed burn.
Americans too often tamp down and allow to fester. CRT, BLM, etc. are pointing out the tinder we/status quo/Whites have not addressed. That some do not like the way they speak about it, or want to address it, does not diminish the need to burn up the tinder. It is the status quo that allows it get out of hand.
MLK: "I have 'a dream' that my four little children will 'one day live in a nation' where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
MLK did not see that day or know when it would come; he only dreamed it. And many White people at least, pass right by the "one day" part. And that "one day" has not come (my opinion). But either way, MLK did not see it yet.
From MLK's last speech: "What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers?"
Shortly after that speech the flames burned bright and terrible across the nation. America had waited too long, even though incrementalism finally got a few very basic things done, that should never have been a thing after the Civil War, and the 13th, 14, 15 Amendments! But Whites couldn't even honor the Constitution.
MLK was not seeing it then either, it seems. How much longer can the dry tinder pile up before the flames occur? Do we wait for a bigger flame, or do more now? That is always the question. Not that revolution is required, but more than incrementalism for sure.