There Is No Way I Can Be A Racist.

Richard The Chwalek
5 min readJan 13, 2021

Obviously, I cannot be a racist, my first best friend was black. Shoot, my dad fought antisemitism during WWII, and racism in the 1960s and 1970s, and ableism until his death. As a white person, I am too proud to see racism in myself, and that makes me feel superior. Characteristically, it allows me to hold onto my white privilege without feeling guilty.

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By ignoring the telltale signs of hubris, I can be anything I think I am. This is where white people are definitely superior than others. Not seeing what is on the tip of our noses provides the bliss we ignorantly crave. And if you have seen my nose, you would know how my difficulty stretches into a whole new realm. But please do not think this is just some drawn out Pinocchio caricature. Especially since I cannot draw to save my lily-white, wrinkled ass.

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White people in general cannot be racist, and not merely because we are handed a whitewashing brush on our first birthday. I really nose what I am talking about too. Our skills go beyond whiteout smearing and slathering over any racist actions and problems, present and past. We are also very talented and insidious in our deceptive ignorance.

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White privilege is not something we wanted to create, and since I make less than the average wage, I cannot have white privilege. Yet I am glad no black family has ever moved into our white neighborhood even though many blacks make a higher wage than I do.

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Such crazy coincidences occur a lot around here. We even had to move out of a nearby school because a black student has been valedictorian three years in a row. Now our kids are in a school with nearly all white students, where only white students become valedictorian. Clearly they teach their white students better. That type of scenario would only be white privilege segregation if somebody thought about the odds for more than a second.

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Many people call me anti-intellectual when I say I cannot be racist. Yet if you have seen all my MRIs, you could see my heart and bones are clearly free of it. The reason people tell these lies is to embarrass, blame, and harass me for things other white people did in the past. I am not responsible for…

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Richard The Chwalek

Mostly serious stuff w/ bits of sarcastic fluff. I wish more could be told yet bios have room 4 short & bold. You’ll see less length isn’t my greatest strength.