Unfortunately I just read Strange Justice about Anita Hill, and the lying sack of sicko who became a Supreme Court Justice. What an eye opener! Not necessarily about the abuse and harassment, but about how much we don't know about people.

Not that there are abusers like CT, but knowing everything about everybody is difficult. I agree that we assume the best of/trust everyone too easily/quickly, as a replier wrote. This normal thing is used consciously or subconsciously by the abusers. We must trust most people or we would not survive as a society. The evolutionary brain likely tamps down or even deletes many/some of these counter-narratives, unfortunate for us in modern society.

Background: My dad's father, often drunk, would beat up his mother a lot. Before dad left for WWII at 17, when grandpa tried to beat up grandma again, he threw him to the ground, and told his dad, he'd kill him if he beat mom again. My mother used to beat up her brothers bullies, so there was no violence in our household, except for spankings, which ended before any of us five were teenagers.

Anyway, having two twenty-something daughters, no sons, I am trying to think beyond the basic things we need to do, not because basic steps are not still needed, but that those steps seem too much like whack-a-mole. Raising better sons is good, but that is tied up in all kinds of norms-traditions, paternalism for example.

Without my parents background, and having four sisters, two on each side, oldest and youngest less than 3 years apart either side of me, I am not sure how well my ADHD brain would have played out in the current environment. It took me much of my life to control my anger, never agaist women, and mostly against myself, but without my family… Hmm?

What boys learn young is hard to remove, in the two stages of young. Parents and schools have only so much power to overcome the changes that after puberty. The brain changes a lot from the early days of training, when adults, parents, and schools have the most influence, consider how badly D.A.R.E. works on the drug usage of kids.

Again, I am not against doing more in nearly every area people have suggested, even inching forward is better than standing still. That said, if we really want to overcome the male dominance problems, we need to rethink the future. Rather than fight out the incremental steps, we decide what we want the future to look like. Without getting into the details of how it will happen, we decide on our goals, and what we want things to be like for our children, then finally determine how best to get there.

We should have a parallel "panel" to work on it. Those in the trenches now should continue their work. The twain only meeting after the new goals are known, and the plan is worked out, then melding where the old works with the new, and shedding of the incompatible old ideas.

The natiowide panel(s) should involve as many Americans from as many "sides" as possible. It can be made up of a small percentage of people who have worked on such before, but mostly new eyes, ears, and brains. While the panel(s) will likely be more liberal/progressive than conservative leaning, since societal change and conservatives don't often fit together, we should entice as many as possible. The reason is we want their input for the best workable plan, and to dilute the pushback every little percent we can.

And by not fighting over aspects of implementation in the beginning, we are more likely to see buy-in to those aspects once a framework of ideals is determined by all, or at least a super majority. With ideals agreed upon, and solving them considered very important, the pushback is often much more muted, especially if those same changes would have been presented upfront.

This may seem pie in the sky, happy talk, but such a process, even if required three or more times, would be educationally preparatory, awareness building, and encouragement for a future plan to work. Like winning one election is never enough to change the flow of the status quo.

This future reworking, follows with my We The People System concept. RTC

Writer/Consultant. Wife/Two-20 something daughters. Flyover Midwesterner. RN/Engineer son, been there/done some, antiracist, feminist, ecotarotcardist, politics